Brexit means Brexit, a poem

Have you heard of the Emergency Poet? Deborah Alma is ‘the world’s first and only mobile poetic first aid service. A mix of the serious, the therapeutic and the theatrical, the Emergency Poet offers consultations inside her ambulance and prescribes poems as cures.’

I’ve supplied her with a few poems for her prescriptions in the past, having responded to call-outs for themed pieces. Her latest request was for Brexit or NHS poems for an event this coming weekend in Shrewsbury. Coincidentally, I wrote a Brexit poem only last week, incensed by the plough-on-regardless attitude of our PM, so I sent it off immediately. She said it was perfect – I mean the EP, of course, not the PM. There would be absolutely no point sending it to the latter.

So if you’re at the NHS / Healthcare Day in Shrewsbury on Saturday, do look out for the Emergency Poet and if you receive a copy of my poem, let me know.

And I give my permission for public chanting, wherever you are.

Brexit means Brexit

Red white and blue Brexit
Stamp hiss and boo Brexit
Hole in my shoe Brexit
Big pile of poo Brexit
Wading in glue Brexit
No getting through Brexit
We’re black and blue Brexit
Back of the queue Brexit
Haven’t a clue Brexit
Sinking canoe Brexit
Flush down the loo Brexit
So sick of you Brexit
Brexit means Brexit
A tightening screw

Heather Wastie

Poem: School visit by Nicky Morgan, Secretary of State for Education

Have you heard of the Emergency Poet? She is “the world’s first and only mobile poetic first aid service”, the brilliant idea of poet Deborah Alma. My poetry has been prescribed by her in the past. Here’s a link to her website She often puts out a call for pieces on a particular subject, and her most recent request was an unusual one …. poems for Nicky Morgan. I sent this one to her last week and she has been pestering me to blog it ever since. It was written just before the election and I performed it at a Politics-themed Mouth and Music ( in March. So here it is!

School visit by Nicky Morgan, Secretary of State for Education

Now listen to me children,
your future’s in our hands
and we have all the answers,
though it’s hard to understand.

So we’ve put it in a poem
and drawn some pictures too,
to help you choose your subjects
for the job that’s best for you.

We’ve put it in a poem
to have a bit of fun!
It’s not an occupation
we’d suggest to anyone!

No! Poetry’s not a proper job;
our tax data will show
that the “true worth” of a poet
is very very low.

Our figures on school leavers
will show you won’t be wealthy
if you become a poet
and that’s not very healthy.

You need to have an income,
you must put money first,
and it isn’t very clever
to play with silly verse.

Now are there any questions?
Oh come on, don’t be shy.
Has the cat got all your tongues?
You there, what’s that you say?

You think I’m talking rot
because if what I say is true
then why are you learning poems
in Key Stage 1 and 2?

And did the poets not got paid?
Did they do it for free
to help your education?
And you think a poet would be far more interesting than me?

Well done! I see you’ve learned to rhyme
and make your stanzas scan!
But there’s something wrong with your final verse.
Do fix that, if you can.

© Heather Wastie
2015 Worcestershire Poet Laureate