A Christmas card from Pat
Does she live in a house
Does she rent a flat
Does she own a dog
Does she keep a cat
Does she wear a scarf
Or a fancy hat
Oh who on earth
Is the woman called Pat?
Is she elegantly thin
Or fabulously fat
Is she painfully shy
Does she love to chat
Is she a spy
Or a diplomat
This woman who sends us
A card signed ‘Pat’
Is she a clown
Or an acrobat
Is she handy with
A cricket bat
Do her feet feel good
On a judo mat?
Please give us a clue
Next year, dear Pat
You could be a bloke
We realise that
A chap in a cap
Or a sporty cravat
Pulling up in a Porsche
Or a clapped out Passat…
Whoever you are
Happy Christmas, Pat
© Heather Wastie
December 2019
Each year we receive two cards signed ‘Pat’. We know the identity of one of them. Maybe the mysterious Pat will read my poem and identify herself (yes, we think it’s a she judging by the kisses). Or maybe hundreds of people called Pat will now send us cards and confuse us even more. This is the beauty of the internet.