Mean time

Mean time

It is the custom of this land
to fiddle with the hour hand,
to move it back, which makes us curse,
to move it forth, and that’s much worse!

It puts us at sixes and sevenses
and unsettles all our elevenses.

I’ve got a message for the Queen:
Such indecisiveness is mean,
we like our ticks, we love our tocks,
we want protection for our clocks!

You’d hear lots of clapping and cheering,
if Time Lords would stop interfering!

© Heather Wastie

FORTHCOMING PERFORMANCES

Saturday April 18th 7.45pm
Heather Wastie – “Idle Women and Judies”
plus folk group Keepers Lock

Trip boat, King Arthur, Gloucester Waterways Museum, Llanthony Warehouse, The Docks, Gloucester GL1 2EH
£10 incl ploughmans
Tel Maurice Boye 01242 570457
or email mauriceboye at hotmail dot com

Friday May 1st 9.00-10.00pm
How do wars start? – Heather Wastie & Fergus McGonigal
Cheltenham Poetry Festival
The Everyman Other Space Studio, 7 – 10 Regent Street, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire GL50 1HQ
In this hilarious, explosive and highly entertaining event, slam-champs and performance poets Fergus McGonigal & Heather Wastie go head to head to explore the sometimes farcical nature of arguments.
http://www.cheltenhampoetryfest.co.uk/eventdetail.php?ID=182

 

Foot tapping

Has it really been over a month since my last blog post? Where did the time go? Spring has sprung me into action (not that I’ve been idle!)

A day or two ago I came across a poem I started late last year; I decided I’d better finish it off. It’s a light-hearted piece inspired by the Harmonie Concert Band who invited me to be their special guest performer last November when I performed songs and poems, mostly with a musical theme. The new poem follows on from another one I wrote many years ago which was the title poem of my first collection and has resonated with musicians across the world. Both poems refer to the tapping of feet by musicians as they play, and both appear below. I hope you enjoy reading them.

Until I saw your foot

I thought this music was in four,
Until I saw your foot.
But now I think it must be three,
Or maybe five, I can’t quite see.
Or six? Or maybe not.

I thought this piece was rather slow,
Until I saw your foot.
But now I think it’s double speed –
Sometimes it’s very fast indeed.
And other times it’s not.

I thought conductors gave the beat,
Until I saw your foot.
But now I think it rather neat,
To look at all the tapping feet,
And choose the speed that I prefer,
And play along with him – or her.
I find it helps a lot.

I thought my timing was all wrong,
Until I saw your foot.
Conductors beat both east and west,
But we don’t play with all the rest:
We’ve found a tempo of our own,
And bar by bar, our love has grown.
O I was feeling so alone,
Until I saw your foot.

© Heather Wastie

Foot tapping styles
with thanks to the Harmonie Concert Band

Toe tap foot forward
knee bobbing.
Heel tap, knee bobbing low.

Toe tap foot back
stationary knee.
Heel tap, knee bobbing high.

Barely perceptible
in-shoe toe shift.
Dangling toe tap.
Toe wrap heel tap.
Heel lift air tap.
Heel tap knee tap.
Double heel double knee.
Broadside heel tap.
Random freestyle.
Shake it all about.

Finger twiddle cross rhythm.
Foot in twos, hand in threes.
Soft shuffle shoes
and a symphony of knees.

© Heather Wastie
March 2015

For a list of future performances see http://wastiesspace.co.uk/Wasties_Space/DIARY.html